Wednesday, 10 December 2014
Advice: 6 Things A Guy Should Never Do To Impress A Lady
it will damage your health, its a temporary measure, you most times end up misbehaving and its not a guarantee that you’ll succeed in wooing or performing well in bed. Besides, the lady will know that you took something and that you
2. Spending above your means: whether its buying things you don’t really need in
3. Lying: I’m not talking about the small lies guys normally tell, I’m talking about bragging to a lady about what you’re not. Why tell a lady your father is Dangote’s
5. Giving your values and beliefs: Maybe you’re a committed Christian or Muslim, you start backsliding or become uncommitted because she told you to. You start to abandon your loved ones and family, your studies begin to nosedive and even
10 Things Every Woman Should Have At Age 30
When I turned thirty in September (Virgos baby!), I became obsessed with all those online lists of the things every woman should have by the big 3-0. Proudly, I admit, I was able to check off quite a few of the most common ones – sexy little black dress, a skincare regimen, more than one ex, etc. – but I didn’t earn an A+. No worries, really. No unique woman fits any one list, I say. However, I did start to think about the sort of tools a 30-something wife oughta have under her belt when she hits that milestone age. Hence, this little list was born. If you tied the knot before thirty, I welcome your feedback. If you didn’t or haven’t, no judgments here – although, this list probably isn’t for you. (Don’t hate me.) That said, you can still weigh in too.
1. A Recipe that Will Make Her Husband Forgive Her for Anything
Admittedly, I’m still working on this one – I’m domestically challenged!
– but, many wives have recommended I have one, so there must be
something to it, right?
2. A Secret (or Not-So Secret) Account for Impulsive Shop Therapy
I don’t believe in “hiding” cash from your spouse, but I’m fully in
support of enjoying what’s left of your paycheck after you and hubby
have combined funds to take care of all household expenses, saving and
beyond. Sliding a little bit of that remaining money aside and into an
account he can’t see never hurt anyone. To me, it just means hearing
“that bag cost how much?!” a few less times a season. (Wink!)
3. A Great Mattress (With Room for You Too!)
I don’t know about the sleeping arrangements in your bedroom, but in
ours, my husband and dog both sleep like there’s no one else in bed but
them. This inevitably leaves very little room for mama. Back when we had
a crappy full (yes full!) sized mattress this was absolutely
unbearable. But, when we splurged on an upgraded, queen-sized,
pillow-top mattress, suddenly that all changed overnight. I still think
my husband sleeps like he’s making a snow-angel and our dog doesn’t
realize she’s not a toddler, but at least there’s room for me and
falling asleep happens fast enough for me to barely notice.
4. A Go-To Foundation that Doesn’t Love Your Husband’s Shirt
I’ve learned this one the hard way. The cheaper the makeup, the
friendlier it is with your clothes, and his. The nights I want to look
the best are usually the same ones I want to spend snuggled up with my
husband in a restaurant booth or something. Honestly, all foundations
rub off at some point, but some are worse than others and you know it. I
have found a few foundations that allow me to be confident enough to
buy my husband white shirts as Christmas gifts again, so I know you can
too.
5. A Happy Place
The mall. Home Goods. The spa….Your bestie’s house. I really don’t care
where you go to find your zen moment and bask in it, just know where it
is and how to get there fast when you need to.
6. A Friend Who Truly Never Gets Tired of Hearing You Vent
It’s true. Marriage really does have its ups and downs, and when the
roller coaster has you raging down a steep, seemingly endless hill, you
will need a kind shoulder to call on. Know whom it belongs to and
appreciate the gift that is pure, kind, non-judgmental friendship at its
very finest.
7. A Cocktail or Wine You Can Count On
Now, I’m not encouraging alcoholism or bar hopping here, but the right
drink can remedy more bullshit than most medicines. Know your drink of
choice and don’t be afraid to add it to your weekly grocery list.
8. A Sexy Lingerie Set that Will Make Her Husband Forgive Her for Anything
Does this need an explanation? Invest, ladies!
9. Life Insurance Policies
Death of a spouse is not something anyone likes to plan for, but it’s
not something you ever want to be unprepared for either. We’re in the
process of getting this together presently. One thing we’ve learned so
far: It’s far more affordable the sooner you open the policies, and
there are so many options out there that it’s worth taking your time,
doing the research and choosing wisely.
10. A Cute Pair of Shoes She Can Take On Anything In
From daylong errand runs to back-to-back friends’ kid’s birthday
parties, sometimes weekends are unavoidably exhausting. It’s tempting to
cop out and sport sneakers or boots all day, but if you must look the
part, it pays to have a pair of shoes that are truly fabulous and
comfortable too. I know. I know. They’re tough to find. Believe me, I
get it. But seek and eventually ye shall find at least one pair. And,
when you do, cherish them!
Male Perspective: 4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Have “Friends” Of The Opposite s*x
Mary
J. Blige’s comment about not allowing each other to have friends of the
opposite s*x sparked a lot of water cooler discussion at work. To give
proper context to her comment, the interviewer asked her what the
benefits of marrying one’s manager are. MJB’s response was, “…If one of
you don’t want to talk about something right now, you have to respect
that. And you have to respect each other’s space.” – The Telegraph. So,
it was in the context of respecting each other’s space that MJB was
like,
“All females for me, all guys for him. There’s none of that, ‘Oh, that’s my female friend. Oh, that’s my guy friend.’ No. Not in a marriage, I’ve never seen that work.” The Telegraph
I strongly agree! When I first got married, I wanted to hang out with my friends like I did when I was single. My wife, on the other hand, had no interest of hanging out till 2am with my friends. But she did something that saved our marriage: she hung out anyway. She didn’t want me around all those women…by myself…who knew I was married but didn’t care. In hindsight, I should have pulled back on my social game. But had she not been around, I would have created two personas: one when she was around, and another when she wasn’t. And the unchaperoned persona would have permitted me to interact with my female friends in a way the chaperoned persona could not do in front of my wife. And we all have seen that married guy before…right?
[Working definition of friend: one who you know and/or hang out with socially outside of work without your spouse]
Let’s be real! The #1 reason MJB doesn’t want her man to have female friends is because she doesn’t what him to cheat on her. Even though she knows there’s no fool-proof way of preventing him, this restricted access limits the risk of that happening. Here are 4 reasons why I think it’s healthy for married couples to limit the risk of cheating by restricting the opposite s*x from the status of ‘friend’.
As I already mentioned, you’ll act one way when your spouse is around…but another way when she’s not. Not all the time. But even once is more than enough and sets a bad precedent for future interactions.
Having restrictions on female “friends” is like self cock-blocking. The side you show when your wife is not around would not be acceptable if she was standing right next to you. And that is dangerous because the s*xual tension sparked by the forbidden fruit is tantalizing. History is wrought with men and women that thought they were strong enough to resist the forbidden…ask David and Sampson.
With respect, MJB is sexy. But so are millions of other women, respectfully speaking. Just because one’s wife is sexy doesn’t mean that other women aren’t. Restricting another sexy woman from “friend” status helps limits the risk that he will cheat with his sexy “friend”.
No matter how innocent things start out – helping a fellow student study for an exam, assisting a co-worker with a project, or working together in a church ministry – you might start catching feelings for your female friend. The thing about feelings is…you can’t control them. You can control your emotions, which is how you respond to your feelings. But if you start feeling like you’re falling in love with your female “friend”, you can’t stop that feeling. Yes, you can catch feelings for anyone, at anytime; and your spouse can’t control that. But putting restrictions on who has access to you and in what environment mitigates the risk you’ll catch feelings for your female “friends”.
There’s no 100% fool-proof way to stop your man or woman from cheating. But I think it is wise and healthy to institute some family standards, to which you both adhere, that reduce the risk of someone cheating. I’d rather have them and not need them, than not have them and find out too late that I needed them all along. We’ve got ours. You got yours?
5 Free Gift You Should Give To Your Husband For Christmas
The older we become, the more Christmas can look like one large bill rather than a time we set aside to spend times with those we love the most. And as you struggle to find that perfect gift for the man in your life, I’m here to suggest a few simple and affordable options that could make his Christmas that much brighter. Not all gifts have to be a large box, a big bow, and an oversized price tag to match. Get him everything on the list, and it won’t cost you a penny, but you better start getting your renewal vows together, because there’s no way he’s letting you get away for another man to have all this fun.
5. Full body massage
Men like being pampered too. Especially if it’s directly by their woman.
After the kids go down, set the mood, tell him to relax, pour a glass
of his favorite beverage, turn on his favorite tunes and go to work on
his aching muscles for about an hour. Use the fact that he’s literally
putty in your hands to your advantage and engage in some conversation
that you have been wanting to have. It’s okay – he’s not going anywhere.
4. Videogame Time
Before marriage and fatherhood, your husband most likely had an intimate
relationship with Call of Duty, Madden, Grand Theft Auto – or maybe all
of them. Show him that the console isn’t a threat to your relationship
and schedule some quality gaming time for him to get reacquainted with
his digital ego. After a few hours of touchdowns, completed missions,
and dodging bullets, your husband will emerge with the smile of victory
ready to embrace the everyday challenge of figuring out what’s for
dinner tonight.
3. Night/Day out with the fellas
Sometimes a man needs to talk about men issues with other men around.
Historically, you haven’t been that thrilled to discuss Sport Center’s
Top 10 list, and he’s been dying to talk about Odell Beckham, but can’t
seem to get to you grasp the gravity of the situation. Call a few of his
happy hour buddies and tell them to surprise your man at the local
watering hole for a few hours. He’ll come back refreshed and ready to
watch more of HGTV’s greatest hits cuddled up at your side.
2. s*x
This is the no brainer that for some reason we still need to bring up.
More than anything, your husband wants to know he’s still desired by his
wife. And believe it or not, he still wants very much to be emotionally
connected as well. For men, it happens through attentive s*x. There was
a time in your lives when the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off
one another. I mean, how did your kids get here, right? Show him you
still can’t keep your hands to yourself, and block off some intimate
time to remind each other you’re still that same couple – just in more a
seasoned package.
1. Sleep
Sometimes all a man wants is to close the door, pull the covers over our
heads and snore uninterrupted for approximately 3 – 7 hours straight.
Show your husband some hotel-style turndown service with a preset alarm
clock and the sounds of Kenny G playing softly in background, and he may
look in your eyes while shedding a tear of gratitude. Then he may
change the music, but he’ll still get the best sleep of his life and
wake wondering where he ever found such a thoughtful spouse.
Karruche And Chris Brown Re-Conciled
A close source told the media site that Karrueche,26, may have felt hurt and angry about Chris childish behaviour but she knows his heart and knows that he didn’t mean any of the horrible things he said about her [including calling her a bitach on stage when performing in LA’s Power 106 concert on Dec. 5]
Karrueche loves Chris, 25, for the man he wants to be and for the man he almost is.
The insider said;
“She does forgive him. She said, ‘I forgive Chris Brown. That’s just who he is,’”Kae knows this whole ordeal is a sure sign that Chris still isn’t well mentally and that he still has work to do. She absolutely accepts his apology but she also knows full well that another episode like this is bound to happen.
Karrueche was hurt, yes. His words and the way he tried to make her look less than loyal were cruel. But at this point, she’s not taking it personally and won’t in the future because she knows this is part of his personality and she knows he’s still in therapy and getting help for this exact reason. She’s in this for the long haul and wants to see him mentally healthy.”
4 Mentalities Men Need To Stop Dogging Their Wives
Fellas
stop dogging your wives! Ok ok ok before all of the men get in an
uproar let me explain! So I was in the sauna at the gym the other day
and a man (who I didn’t know) came in, then proceeds to go on a big
negative rant about his wife and her nagging, complaining and everything
else. While I empathized because we must admit that there are some
wives who are just unhappy with themselves and thus take it out on
everyone else. However, what I’ve found, is that many times behind an
unhappy wife is an unengaged, unconscious, disconnected, or selfish
husband. It’s almost never one persons fault, yet we complain about our
spouses like we are perfect.
Let’s break down those 4 things…
1). Unengaged
I recently wrote an article about “showing up” in your relationship
where I address how sometimes as men we are home but we aren’t engaged
in anything that is going on in the home. Sometimes we aren’t spending
any real quality time with our spouse or the children. It’s been months
since you took her out on a date, it’s been weeks since you’ve kissed
her or told her you love her. She’s starting to feel insecure and you
haven’t done anything to reassure her. Sometimes that “nagging” is
really just her begging for your attention and affection.
2). Unconscious
You are sitting around thinking that you are treating her perfectly,
meanwhile she isn’t getting any of her needs met. She walks around being
passive aggressive but because you’re so self-absorbed, you haven’t
even noticed and thus you are unconscious. You haven’t checked in with
her to see if everything is okay, or to see what more you could be doing
to meet her needs. Take some time to check in with her instead of
remaining unconscious and then complaining to everyone else about her.
3). Disconnected You haven’t touched her in months, you spend more time looking at the computer than looking at her. You spend more time with your boys than you do with her and you haven’t put it down in the bedroom in a while. She feels like she is losing you because you seem so distant, yet when she asks you about it, you say everything is fine. In her gut she probably thinks you’re having an affair and slowly but surely she begins to grow resentful and bitter towards you. She just wants you to reconnect with her but you keep pushing her further away. It’s time you reconnected with her!
4). Selfish
Why is everything always about you? Yes, that’s what she may be
wondering because anything that has to do with you, of course you are
all into. Anything concerning her or the kids you show very little
interest in. She has been serving you and your needs for years and all
she really wants is some reciprocation. She feels like she’s been
talking and you’ve been hearing her but have yet to listen. Its time you
listen.
Fellas this isn’t an article focused on condemning you because we all fall short sometimes. Hell, I’ve been there before, blaming everyone but myself. I wrote it so that we become conscious about what we may or may not be doing. I wrote it so that you take self-inventory before you find yourself in a sauna complaining to strangers about how bad your wife is. Besides, it’s when she stops nagging that you really need to be worried.
Pakistian Girl Malala Yousafzai Recieve Nobel Peace Award
17 year old Pakistani girl rights activist Malala Yousafzai Receives Her Nobel Peace Price today the 10th of December at the city hall in Oslo, Norway. She won the award in October alongside Indian activist Kailash Satyarthi.
She gave a little speech on receiving the award and this is what she had to say:
“I tell my story, not because it is unique, but because it is not. It is the story of many girls. I am pretty certain that I am also the first recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize who still fights with her younger brothers”
Queen Latifah and Steven Tyler were also spotted at the event.
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